I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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