That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
