we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
