i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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