thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
