so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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