First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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