everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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