Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
