I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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