it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think your dad took our porno
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
