I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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