Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
