so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
