Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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