is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
