Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
