If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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