Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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