Fuck appropriateness.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
