I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
