i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
me + whiskey = a bad person
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
