return my video game
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
