chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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