"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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