that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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