I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
