We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
