everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
