I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
