Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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