I just pynch a tree in the face
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is Oprah even human
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
