Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
