i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
