I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
