just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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