I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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