In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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