life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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