he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
