What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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