Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
