I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
