dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
