WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
