You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
