the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
