gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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