Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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