Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ttyl tear gas
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
