I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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