Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
