Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The air was thick with penises
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize