He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
