So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
