He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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