So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
