their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
