trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
