did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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