I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
